It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 5
PART 5 - accountability
While there are plenty of mistakes we make when it comes to changing habits, our willpower is not the problem. The issue is skipping the foundational things that help cement the change into our lives. In this blog series, we will explore the five things you need in place when changing your habits.
If you have been following along, you have already established your “why” or your core reason for making your change (Part 1) and you know your baseline or starting point (Part 2). You recognize the need to make change using small conscious action (Part 3) and have self-awareness (Part 4) around your results.
The fifth and final must-have when it comes to changing habits is Accountability. Accountability allows you to declare your plans to the world (or at least to a few people who want to see you win). This extremely important step can give you the traction you need to be successful.
What is Accountability?
Accountability is being held responsible for what you’ve said you will do. While we can certainly plan to hold ourselves accountable, your chances of doing what you committed to, dramatically increase when you are accountable to someone else.
According to an accountability study conducted by the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD), you have a 65% chance of completing a goal if you commit to someone. Then the chance of success increases to 95% if you have a standing appointment with the person you’ve identified as your accountability partner.
Everyday Accountability
There are dozens of examples of everyday accountability and accountability partners that we overlook. Completing an assignment at work for our boss, picking up the groceries for our loved ones, meeting a friend for a walk (or now, virtual workout).
Think of three things you are held accountable for every day. Either by yourself (i.e. meditating, getting the mail, flossing your teeth, etc.) or someone else (i.e. taking out the trash, buying groceries, completing a work report, etc.).
What motivates you to do those things? Are you holding yourself accountable or is someone else expecting you to get it done?
Meeting Expectations
Author Gretchen Rubin refers to our response to expectations as our “Tendency.” She has identified and defined the four Tendencies as:
Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations
Questioners question all expectations, and they'll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense; they respond to inner expectations
Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike
My clients and I have found that understanding our own Tendency has been quite helpful in making lasting life changes. Rubin’s, short and free, Four Tendencies Quiz ©Gretchen Rubin is the first place to start. I also recommend her book, the Four Tendencies for a more detailed explanation of your own Tendency.
Understanding your own Tendency is essentially a self-awareness strategy that can help you set up the type of accountability that will have an effective outcome. For example, knowing that I have an Obliger Tendency allows me to set up outside accountability in order to be successful in making my change.
Motivation Will Wane
Not to sound like a total downer, but it’s not uncommon for habit change motivation to wane. At the outset, you may be inspired to make your change and even enjoy planning and preparing for it. However, once the novelty wears off or life gets in the way, the change will become difficult. That’s where having an accountability plan in place picks up the slack.
As humans, we have a need to belong. It helps us feel validated and supported. We can use accountability as a strategy to support our “belonging” because it offers the power of social expectation. When our own motivation wanes, we will maintain our commitments in service of our belonging to a group.
If you are looking for support in making your 2021 change, there is still time to join the Changing Habits group coaching program. We start on January 11th! You can learn more here.
The Five Foundations
So there you have it - the 5 must-have, foundational strategies for changing habits:
Accountability
These strategies have helped me make substantial life changes, including:
Establishing a daily meditation habit that’s lasted for 5+ years;
Ditching gluten and overhauling my food choices; and
Improving my sleep, which has had a cascade of effects on my focus, performance, and overall happiness.
Today, as a Certified Human Potential Coach, I help clients make lasting change in their own lives, focusing on habits to improve all areas of their lives, including health, performance, and focus.
Not ready to be part of a group? I am happy to partner with you, one-on-one, to nurture, and help you change your habits to move forward in 2021. If you are ready to make real change in 2021 and need support you can schedule a complimentary call here to discuss your plan.