In a previous work role, there had been many changes and I felt physically unsettled.
But I used my brain to rationalize why it made sense to stay in the situation. The financial retainer was steady income. I believed in the work the organization was doing. The monthly tasks came easy to me. Why would I walk away from this? It made so much sense on paper.
I had a few direct conversions that I thought “fixed” the situation. I ignored the tightness in my chest and continued completing my assignments. Intent on being ok with the situation. “It’s just work, you’re not ‘supposed’ to be content with work all the time,” I thought.
Then a series of instances directly related to the job I was hired for transpired. I felt devalued, my contributions were minimized and my counsel was ignored.
My body was screaming
I waited one week and I couldn’t ignore it any longer. My body was screaming. I sat for a body-based meditation in hopes it would guide me to answers. In less than 10-minutes, I felt a full-body (and mind) resolve that it was time to move on. I could no longer ignore what my body was sharing.
The above took place over the course of a year. I couldn’t help but think at the time, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
You see, if you are like me, you may find that your usual route to action is through the mind. To think it through, rationalize, gain insights or try to understand.
But this isn't enough.
We cannot think our way towards decisions or change.
So much of who we are — our habits, tendencies, blind spots, patterns of reactivity, limitations, and the areas where we are stuck — lives in our bodies.
And the body does not respond to rationalizations created by the mind.
To make the true change we desire and the decisions that support our deepest commitments, we need to tap into the body, listen and respond to our sensations, and access its wisdom.
But how?
Tips to Explore
These three tips will help you begin to involve your body. Please note, it’s especially important to utilize self-compassion while involving your body in your decision-making or change process. If you haven’t done it before, it likely take some practice. Reminding yourself that this is a new strategy and that answers aren’t always going to come quickly. Remember you are trying this on for size.
Awareness - No need to effort here. The body is “informing” us all the time. The next time you need to make a small decision, say what to eat for lunch or which way to turn on a walk, check in with your body, and note where you are feeling sensations that help you make that decision.
If you tend to make most of your decisions with your head, this may take some time. Practicing with “small” decisions is an easier way to get to know and play with your body’s signals, and sensations. Placing a hand on the area that’s “sharing” the information can help you tune in to what your body is sharing.
Not feeling any sensations? It may help to close your eyes to take the visual system offline and begin noting what you are NOT feeling first.
Engage - Can you engage with your body’s sensations or signals? Note their perceived location, shape, color, or size? Maybe even asking them, “What would you like me to know?” with the understanding that you are just taking in ALL of the information before you make a choice or change.
Experiment - Once you have practiced with the “little things” and understand how to engage with your own body’s “voice” you can begin to experiment with one bigger decision per week. Just a reminder that you don’t need to follow your body’s response if you are not yet comfortable with the process
It can be helpful to note the way you want to respond, your conditioned response, versus how you actually respond.
Ready to make the next best move for your change or decision-making?
Click here to join me for a 10-minute practice to listen to your body.
