We can spend a great deal of effort trying to avoid change. But as human beings, it's impossible to avoid the inevitable life transitions we will face.
Friendships begin and end.
Relationships begin and end.
School begins and ends.
Jobs begin and end.
Your housing changes.
Sometimes it's slow and barely noticeable. Other times the change can come suddenly and unexpectedly.
Jenny Blake, an international speaker, podcaster, all-around dynamo and author of “Pivot: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One” has a motto that I try to live by:
"If change is the only constant, let's get better at it!"
These are three strategies that can help you get better at change.
Acknowledge the Change
Change is naturally stressful for your physiology because your body and brain like the familiar. In response to that stress, you can find yourself resisting the change. This type of response is common.
If you find most of your effort is going toward resisting or denying the change, it may help to pause to acknowledge that it's happening at all. Connecting with a friend or loved one to reflect on what's different and how it's made things more challenging (or easier if that's the case) can be helpful. If a trusted person isn't available, you can also journal about the change.
Choose the Change
Did you plan for this change, or was it thrust upon you? Either way, you can now choose or accept it to move forward.
Recognizing the silver linings that exist in the situation can help. This practice from the Greater Good Science Center can easily be applied to a change situation.
It's also helpful to consciously choose the change by making a verbal declaration, such as when creating a habit, "I choose to be in bed by 10 pm because [fill in your why for making the change].
Resilience Reminder
When a change is unexpected, or the outcome of a well-thought-out plan is different than you expected, it can help you become more resilient.
Resilience is one's ability to bounce back after hardships or difficulties. It can help you become more adaptable and flexible in the process. Ask yourself:
Can I make meaning from this change?
Can I see how this change is allowing me to exercise my resilience?
What have I already survived and grown from?
What good came out of those situations?
Better at Change
Change can certainly be challenging but "getting better at it" means taking the opportunity to recognize that even with difficulty, embracing change or at least not actively resisting it can help you expand. You can gain new insights and learn lessons you didn't know you needed.
After all, the end of one thing is the beginning of another. How will you get better at change?
