I once thought that we were destined to do things or be a certain way. For example, I used to think I had a black-kiss-of-death thumb. It seemed that know matter what I tried, every plant that came near me shriveled up and died, hence the belief, “I’m not good with plants.”
So when my Dad, an avid gardener, suggested that he would build a raised garden box so I could grow organic greens, I laughed. “For me?” I said. I couldn’t possibly keep whatever was planted in it alive I thought. But after some convincing from both my parents I agreed and soon my boys and I were poking seeds down into the soil.
With fingers crossed and a watering reminder on my phone, I waited to see some sign of life. We even made it a bit of a family affair as my two boys enjoyed filling up the watering can to give the plants “a drink” and checking in regularly to see if there was any progress.
As sprouts started to appear, my mindset started to shift. Maybe I was wrong? Somehow I had managed to usher not one but two types of spinach, arugula, kale and lettuce into the world. They were green and plentiful. They were growing and delicious. Soon we had salad spilling out the sides of the bed.
That belief that “I’m not good with plants,” gradually started to fade and as it did I realized that thinking that way was exactly what had been keeping me from assisting the plant life around me to thrive. It was almost as if I’d written off my oxygen-offering friends before I even tried to support them.
I created my reality by thinking I could not properly care for plants. Every time I spoke that belief I was defending it. I acted consistently with the belief by giving up on putting in the effort because they “wouldn’t survive anyway.” Then when my plants started to look sad and wilted, I would see confirmation of that belief. I knew it.
The cyclical process I regularly engaged in was becoming so clear.
First, my mind creates a thought, also known as attaching a story or assigning a meaning.
The thought influences how I feel about the situation and/or myself.
I act in accordance with those feelings, confirm the belief as “truth” and further perpetuate the cycle by thinking the thought again.
Holy Hydrangea! Understanding the above process, felt like hitting the jackpot. Knowing that I can shift out of mindless patterns of beliefs that are not working for me gives me power to alter my outcomes in my favor for everything.
Because I didn’t start out planning to shift a belief I looked back to see what was it that made it a reality. What I found was, though I was resistant at first, I had made a conscious choice to try a different way (thanks for the encouragement Mom and Dad!). I paid attention on purpose with the intention of doing my best to support the growing greens and it not only worked, it gave me a new way of thinking. And now I know that if I want to make change it’s up to me to nurture and grow the right thoughts to move me forward.
What belief(s) do you cycle through? Are you ready to change it?
