Small Changes

Resolutions Are "Shoulds" in Disguise: Don't Fall for It

 
Glasses, nose and mustache disguise
 

We have all been there.

The calendar flips to a new year, and you engage in an overhaul of some sort.

  • Rid yourself of a vice because you are going to “eat healthy.”

  • Shell out money for a gym membership/exercise equipment/latest gadget because you are going to “get in shape.”

  • Skip the coffee shop and make your brew at home because you will “save money.” And the list goes on.

You are ready to change your life. Fed up by the lack of progress you have seen from the previous year. You force yourself into some sort of box that you won’t be able to stay in for long. Pressured by the clock striking midnight, you start this or stop that because you “should.”

Not to be a downer, but I say don’t fall for it, whatever you are overhauling will not last. Not because you don’t want it to/wish it would and not because you lack the willpower to make it happen. Making resolutions are simply “shoulds” in disguise.

They are often accompanied by unrealistic expectations, too many things to do, a lack of plan on how to pursue the end result, and the pressure of “should.” Your body will eventually resist whatever you’re trying to change or implement because it doesn’t feel safe.

If resolutions aren’t the answer, how do you actually change your life?

First, identify where in your life you are ready for a change. This Life Assessment can help.

Next, be sure you pick ONE change and nail these foundations of habit change for it BEFORE you move on to the next. Click on each foundation for more info.

  1. Know your why for wanting this change.
    What’s the real reason you want this? It helps to go deep here, often the surface reason is just the tip of the iceberg.

  2. Identify your baseline or starting point.
    If you want to train for a marathon but only “run” out to the mailbox, your starting point will be different than if you run 5 miles a day.

  3. Take small conscious action.
    Biting off more than we can chew is the kiss of death when it comes to making change. Starting crazy small can feel silly, but the point is to make it so easy you can’t fail. Also, instead of waiting until the end goal is reached, it’s vital to celebrate the small wins along the way. This rewards your body and brain for doing work and reinforces the action you are taking as safe.

  4. Have self-awareness about your change.
    Are you being honest with yourself about your efforts and results? Taking a pause to notice can help you go farther, faster.

  5. Put accountability in place.
    Your potential success rate skyrockets when you involve others who want to see you win.

What change are you trying to make? Schedule your complimentary mini session to flesh out your plan here.

The Habit of Gratitude

The Habit of Gratitude

Most likely you already express gratitude by saying “thank you” when someone does something for you. I find that it’s easiest to be grateful when an action warrants an expression of gratitude.

Another way to express gratitude is to focus on what you have versus what you want or don’t have. This will take some practice because of our brain’s natural negativity bias.

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 5

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 5

While there are plenty of mistakes we make when it comes to changing habits, our willpower is not the problem. The issue is skipping the foundational things that help cement the change into our lives. In this blog series, we will explore the five things you need in place when changing your habits.

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 3

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 3

If you're on track to make a change and you're finding that you're hitting a wall, it's not that it's the wrong change. It's not that you can't do it. It doesn't have anything to do with your ability to make this change. It's just that you started too big.

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 2

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits - Part 2

We all know how satisfying it can be to see effort pay off. One of the key ways to ensure you are able to feel satisfaction when changing or creating habits is to understand and take note of your baseline or starting point.

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits

It's Not About Willpower: 5 Things You Need to Change Habits

It's a very common mistake when making change. I've made it myself many times before. Not knowing your core “why,” which goes beyond the surface level of the habit change. For example, the surface level “I want to eat healthier,” has a deeper why underneath. What would eating healthier result in?

Slow Down to Create Space

Slow Down to Create Space

Years ago, an elderly gentlemen who observed me running a large-scale event, that I had planned for 6+ months, commented to my client saying, “The grass doesn’t grow under her feet.”

At the time I wore it like a badge of honor. Sit? No thank you. I need to keep busy. Take a break? Maybe later, there’s still work to do.