Today, I had my newly inherited grandmother’s (Rest in Peace Grandma) piano tuned. As Peter, the expert, was showing me how different the piano sounded in and out of tune, I began thinking about how the idea pertains to life.
Tuning a piano requires assessing the vibrational interaction among notes, which is different for every piano. Then the task is to make small adjustments to the tension of the strings so that they are in alignment.
Just for ease of understanding, my thought train went something like this…
Piano = you or I
Notes = experiences of life
Vibrational interactions = the emotions or energy we put out into the world.
In tune/alignment = in flow, creating life, feeling in charge and choosing how we respond to situations with some sweet beats as a backtrack. ;)
Out of tune = noise, too much happening at once. Feeling overwhelmed which causes reactivity. Feeling life is happening to us and the worst song ever is on repeat.
I know all the life things – shuttling children, doing laundry, work appointments, planning meals, settling arguments, doctor’s appointments, family commitments, misunderstandings, homework, etc. – can quickly change my vibration. If I let them, they can stress me out (think too tight of tension on piano strings) or overwhelm me (too loose and there’s nothing holding me or the piano strings together).
Because I cannot control everything that life throws at me, the first step is to be aware when I am shifting out of tune or alignment. Just as I had to pause and listen closely to understand when the piano was in and out of tune (I am still a novice, having only played for about 18 months), I need to pause in life to note what direction my emotions are heading. Once I have noticed my emotional state I have more leverage to respond rather than react.
My next step is to take stock of the impact my thoughts and emotions are having on my body. Emotions actually cause biochemical reactions in our bodies (read more fascinating info here), sending molecular messages that can impact how we respond to a given situation. Because the chain reaction directly impacts our bodily cells (for the better – in tune or worse – out of tune), it is important to know what you can do when these reactions have been triggered.
When I find myself losing it, I know that I can directly impact how I react by changing my body’s stress response. Yes, you read it correctly, you can actually interrupt your body’s stress, or fight or flight response (as part of the autonomic nervous system, this is called the sympathetic state, read more here). This is where my meditation practice comes in. One of the most accessible ways to influence our own stress is through changing the breath, which in turn activates the parasympathetic nervous system, also, known as the rest and digest mode.
Quieting my mind and spending time with my breath is something I have grown to crave. But, just because I log 30 minutes a day in peaceful (sometimes challenging) reflection does not mean I am floating through life on a Zen cloud 9. As humans, difficult situations and feeling are bound to arise, so it’s best to be prepared when they do.
My kids will tell you that I regularly ask them, “How do you get better at anything?” They will also let you know that the answer to that question is, “Practice!” Everyday I practice using my breath to activate a calming response in my body so that I can draw on the skill when the going gets tough, even if the “tough” is breaking up a Lego argument for the umpteenth time.
Here are my top three breathing exercises that help me shift out of meltdown mode:
Breathe through your feet – it sounds strange but the simple process of imagining your inhale traveling from the soles of your feet up through your body and back down helps slow your breathing and shift your body state.
Box breathing – this is another easy technique you can do anywhere. First you exhale all of the air out of your lungs to the count of four, then hold that exhale for a count of four. Next, inhale to the count of four and hold the inhale for a count of four. And repeat for up to two minutes.
Extend your exhale – if you inhale to a count of four, then exhale for a count of 6 or more by contracting the abdomen as you completely empty your lungs.
Which one will you practice today?
For more tactics to shift you from a stressed state to a relaxed one read this.
